The Perlozzo-Baez Loss-o-matic

So the Orioles had a chance to sweep the Nationals and prove once again that DC never deserved a team. Instead, Baltimore fans got to witness what I will now refer to as the "Perlozzo/Baez Loss-o-matic". This new device is normally deployed in the eighth inning of a close ball game. The machine tends to work better when the O's have stranded over 10 base runners, and in the case of Sunday's game, when two of your twelve hits and one of your three runs had to be taken care of by the starting pitcher.

Use of the "Perlozzo/Baez Loss-o-matic" is almost always followed by the immediate sounds of broken glass, beer foaming on the new carpet, and palms slapping against furrowed brows throughout the state of Maryland. After three to five pitches by Baez, this sound is followed by the resounding cacophony of televisions and radios turning off, and cigarettes lighting up.

Fascinating specimen, really.

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